Here we are skipping into May, la-de-da and other such, and my latest Atlantic Monthly arrives with the news that we may NEVER run out of oil. Isn't that grand? Here we have all been worrying, well not the absolute right wringers (hands and such dontchaknow),that everything would come to a stop in the Western world and our red capitalistic friends in Peking (I still think of it as a duck) manage to get along with smog the thickness of Carvel, and a penchant to create a car which runs completely on coal. It could happen.....
So I, to get out of Hellando from time to time, take the South Korean SUV on the road to the home of country music several times a year. At least in Nashville, there are seasons which change on a regular schedule. It's nice to say that one is on the verge of planting and weeding again and to have a Spring which lasts more than a day or two. Mind you, Hellando has two definite seasons; one hot as Hell and the other not so much. That makes the 'city beautiful' (for real ... ask the chamber of commerce) home to all the n'er do wells of the U.S.A. and several other countries for most of the year. Hellando and its' environs used to be pretty. Now, with the onset of Mickey mania and Universal days in the water and upchucking after a flight on the Hell mobiles (better known in my time as roller coasters), there is no place safe at all in this state. We are governed by a man who calls himself Rick Scott. What happened to real names like Grover Cleveland, George Washington, and Samuel Adams....oops....he became a pricey beer.....
There is no hope for this state. I lived in Mexico as a child and speak English almost as well as Spanish. Florida needs to move all the WASPS north of Gainsville, and give the rest of the territory south therefrom to the keys to the new state of Miami. That makes sense. As one approaches Miami on I95 one can scan the AM dial and find that the Cuban radio stations come in more clearly than some of the fire and brimstone religious outlets broadcasting locally. Down in the keys I imagine that with the help of a good outdoor antenna system, on a HOT as HELL summer afternoon, one might enjoy that pina colada and Cuban baseball on the tele......but that's for the future. All the Puerto Ricans who cannot back their own 'isla de encanto' for complete statehood will surely find something to do in the new state of Miami. There will be jobs created for those seeking to work as border guards; and of course, the legions of Limbaugh fans can get jobs erecting the wall of separation between the white breads and the bean eaters. Sharpshooters will be needed. That will make the NRA happy.
 My wife asked me yesterday what neutral country was I thinking of moving to....... I'll tell you a secret..... With Spring in Hellando coming on.....all I can think of is escape. Two things are for sure. Wherever my wife and I manage to go to retire there will be more than two lousy seasons, fewer crowds, more trees and hills, and you can bet your bottom dollar that I will not divulge the location. Signed....TeaGee .... Ticked Off